Shyness and social anxiety

Shyness is something that affects everyone at some point. Many of us feel anxious before meeting a group of new people or going on a date, but often these feelings fade away. But when these feelings continue to affect your interactions with other people, preventing you from carrying out day-to-day activities, there might be a chance that you’re suffering from social anxiety (sometimes called ‘social phobia’).

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety is an extreme form of shyness, stirring up feelings of self-consciousness, inferiority and judgment from others in social situations. It’s the third most common form of psychological disorder, after depression and alcoholism, and may not occur in isolation. There are two main types of social anxiety:

Specific social phobia

Someone might be able to mix with people and socialise normally in most situations but a particular situation, like public speaking or eating in front of other people, causes feelings of anxiety. They might feel under scrutiny or imagine all the things that could go wrong.

General social phobia

This is when someone becomes anxious whenever they are around other people. They might feel like everybody is looking at them and judging them. It can be extremely disabling, as often they will cope by avoiding the situations that they anticipate will make them feel anxious. This can lead to difficulty forming long-term relationships, affecting men in particular.

What are the symptoms of social phobia?

Once it’s recognised, treatment of social phobias is usually pretty successful, so it’s important to be on the lookout if you think you might have a social phobia. Social anxiety affects people in different ways, but there are some common signs and symptoms that might help you identify the problem.

Physical signs

Sweating, palpitations (feeling of increased or irregular heartbeat), dry mouth, blushing and trembling are all common symptoms of anxiety. You might also find it hard to breathe, which can escalate into a panic attack. Sometimes the fear of the symptoms themselves can cause a vicious cycle as you might be embarrassed that your anxiety is visible to other people.

Psychological signs

Someone with a social phobia might be overly analytical of a social situation, thinking ahead of what could go wrong, or ruminating over a situation that has already passed – you might go over and over in your head of all the things you could have done instead, or worry about what the other person thought of you. Many people with a social phobia are aware of the problem, and find ways around it. This may be through avoiding social situations, or by the use of alcohol and drugs. Alcohol is more likely to be used by men to help them relax so that they can function normally in an imminent social situation, and to ease the symptoms of anxiety. If alcohol is regularly relied upon for this, it can become a problem in itself, so it’s important to seek help if you think this is happening.

How do you get a social phobia?

No-one really knows exactly why some people and not others develop social anxiety. It sometimes runs in families, so there might be a biological reason behind it, but social factors are also thought to contribute. Bullying or teasing at school can affect how we interact later in life, as well as how we were treated by family and friends, particularly if someone was overly critical.

What can you do about it?

Fortunately, once a social phobia is recognised, treatment is usually very successful. If you think that you might be suffering from a social phobia, it’s important to approach your GP, who will be able to refer you on to someone in your area that can help. This might be very hard to do initially, particularly for someone with a social phobia, but once contact has been made there are several treatment options that are very successful.

Psychological treatments

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has been shown to be really successful in treating social anxiety. It’s a form of therapy that gets the person to look at the reasoning behind why they feel like they do, and challenges negative or irrational thought patterns that cause the anxiety. It is possible to learn various social skills, like initiating a conversation, making you feel more equipped to deal with social situations.

Medication

Medication There are certain drugs that are sometimes prescribed that can ease the symptoms of anxiety. There are also some self help options that are also very effective:

• You might think about joining a self-help group. Knowing that other people are going through the same thing can be a real help.
• There are also several great self-help books that take you step-by-step through the reasons behind social anxiety and things you can do to help yourself.

More information

1. The Edinburgh Psychology Centre can help you. Contact us on 0131-668-1440 to find out more or to arrange an initial session.
2. Alternatively you may wish to speak to your GP who should be able to refer you to someone suitable.
3. See our links at www.edinburghtherapy.co.uk/links.htm for details of organisations who may be able to provide assistance or information.

   Click here for a pdf version of this shyness and social anxiety information sheet.

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