How counselling and relationship / couples counselling helped Joanne and Paul with their relationship difficulties

We decided we needed to see a counsellor when all we ever did was argue. It was horrible and we both just wanted to find a way of stopping what seemed to be these never ending arguments - often about nothing at all.

We saw Susan, who specialised in relationship / couples counselling. Initially we focused on the 'pattern' we were in, helping us identify what it was we thought the other was doing that made us feel so provoked. She also gave each of us time and space in turn to talk about how we felt without interruption.

This was really important for us as in doing so it became really clear neither of us realised how much the other was struggling. Me because I was having a hard time at work and Paul because he just couldn't seem to cope with his fears around our relationship not working out. Susan suggested he might need to see someone himself for some counselling to talk about things, which he did. We also continued to work on what was happening between us.

Both really helped - Paul managed to understand what was making him so scared and we realised we both had a habit of 'testing' each other, which was causing us to get into so many battles. Over time things improved as we learned to communicate more openly and to de-escalate conflict situations (i.e. we now have time outs!). I am pleased to say we are still together two years on - something that seemed impossible to envisage at the time.

If, like Joanne and Paul, you are having relationship problems and feel it would help to speak to somebody qualified to help, please contact us.

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Practitioners offering relationship/couples counselling at our Edinburgh centre:

Lindsay Crago, Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Couples Counsellor
Chris Denmark, Couples Counsellor/Cognitive Behaviour Therapist
Tanya Richardson, Counsellor/Psychotherapist
Ronen Stilman, Counsellor/Master NLP Practitioner