Anger and aggression

What is it?

Anger is a defensive emotion that, in some situations, can be a good thing – it tells us when we’re not safe and when to be on our guard. It’s when anger takes over our thoughts and feelings and is displayed through its behavioural counterpart, aggression that it can become a problem. Anger and aggression are sometimes seen as assertions of masculinity: a demonstration of strength and dominance. The result is often less positive, as expressions of anger, particularly through aggression can harm relationships with those around you and destroy the trust that has been built up.

Why do we get angry?

There are lots of reasons in everyday life that make us angry. Feelings of anger often follow on from other emotions, like jealousy or embarrassment. But it’s also something that’s associated more with men – why is this?

Nature - Theories of how anger evolved relate to primitive territory defence, so anger and aggression are sometimes explained as instinctive reactions.

Hormones - Men have higher levels of the hormone testosterone which has been linked to aggressive behaviour, but this is still very controversial. Not all men are angry or aggressive so other factors need to be considered.

Frustration - Anger needs an outlet. If there is no outlet, like talking something through or physical activity and exercise, sometimes the emotion shows itself through aggression.

Social situations - It’s well known that some situations are more likely to stir up feelings of anger. Take the image of the raging football mob: overcrowded, hot, noisy and seething with rivalry. Add to this the pressure coming from peers to join in, and it’s not surprising that these situations breed anger.

Alcohol - There’s a clear link between alcohol and aggression. More than 30% of violent incidents occur in or near a pub or club. Alcohol reduces our self control and makes us take less notice of social rules. This can mean that we react aggressively when we’d normally walk away.

Dealing with anger and aggression

If you think you might have a problem with anger and aggression, the first step is to recognise the anger. Tune in to both the physical and mental signals: increased heart-rate, rising tension, feeling out of control. When we’re feeling angry it’s easy to place the blame on someone else, but it’s important to take ownership of anger – there’s always another option. Once you’ve taken responsibility for your own feelings, you can then take steps to understand and tackle them in a more constructive way.

Take a step back - A clear look at why you’re feeling angry can sometimes reduce the anger. Rationally thinking through how we got to this point can help you to take control of yourself and look for another way of dealing with the situation.

Identify the situations that make you more vulnerable to giving in to your anger - Think about why and how you can avoid it in the future.

Walk away - Although it might not always be possible, taking some time out to calm down or let off steam is always better than letting the anger take over and turn into aggression. Once you’ve recognised your anger, try and remove yourself from the situation.

Verbalise your anger - Don't let your actions speak for you. Rationally talking through why you're angry explicitly lets the other person know what they have done to upset you and gives them the opportunity to set things right.

More information

First Psychology Centre, Edinburgh can help you. Contact us on 0131-668-1440 to find out more or to arrange an initial session.
Alternatively you may wish to speak to your GP who should be able to refer you to someone suitable.
See our links at www.edinburghtherapy.co.uk/links.htm for details of organisations who may be able to provide assistance or information.

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